Humor Rant – Park Somewhere Else!

August 18, 2009

WARNING: HUMOR RANT AHEAD. Exaggerated, pessimistic, and possibly offensive content ahead. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. MUAHAHAHAHAH.

No, this isn’t my first humor rant about parking. Yes, this one is different. Shut up and read it. Read both! Tell your friends! Click the Share/Save button below! SIMON SAYS, READ THE RANT!

Let’s say you pull in to the parking lot and you’re going to run in and grab some things. You may be 5 minutes, you may be 2 hours, but you park in an empty area of the parking lot right? Here’s the idea:

|_|
|X|

Your vehicle is the X, and there’s an empty spot in front of you. WHY IS IT THAT NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU ARE IN THE STORE (or whatever), SOMEBODY HAS TO PARK DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU? Same thing for a parking spot right behind you! SOMEBODY ALWAYS HAS TO TAKE THAT SPOT!

Seriously! Is it that hard to park? I have to be your guide? You have to block my path? I could park at the top of the parking lot, a mile away from the store, and the fattest person I’ve ever met would park directly in front of me JUST BECAUSE. They can’t even walk from their couch to their bed without stopping for a rest, but they can walk a mile to the store JUST TO PARK IN FRONT OF ME.

WHY?! I know I’m not the only one that deals with this. OR AM I? IS THE WORLD PARKING LOT STALKING ME? No, no it isn’t.

Why does it bug me? I don’t really know. Why are you doing it? You don’t know either. SO QUIT IT.

This is what you SHOULD do:

|_|_|Y|
|X|_|_|

This is what you REALLY do:

|Y|_|_|
|X|_|_|

Shame on you.

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by N.G. Woosh

  • MidwestMom73
    I was at the bank and there was my car and one other car and at least 10 other empty parking spaces and when I came out some one parked in front of me.. the nerve :-)
  • Sarah
    Hey big bro got something funny! After reading your humor rant instead of someone parking in front of us they hit our mirror and knocked it back while leaving paint on it and one of the door! -_-
  • They didn't bother to leave a note or anything did they? >.>
  • Sarah
    Of course not!
  • We actually talked about this phenomenon in a design class (of all places) when I was in college. The professor said it has something to do with the "safety-in-numbers" principle. In other words, they're just sheep.
  • Yeah I had that thought too, but rational thinking in a humor rant? ;)
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